lesley crewe

author

Pinteresting…..

on February 23, 2013

I thought I had all my vices under control.

I haven’t smoked for decades. I stopped drinking years and years ago. I never did drugs (my kids read this). My fifty shades of grey were always flannel (my kids read this). In other words, I’ve always been a complete bore.

And then a friend tells me about Pinterest. “You’ll love it. You just pin things you like.”
“What for?”
“Because you can.”
“But why?”
“Have you got something better to do?”

No.

So I start pinning cute animals because I love and adore animals. This is fun. Until I realize there are at least a billion different species and I want to pin them all. I’m well on my way to doing that.

Unfortunately I run into a picture of a dog who looks like our old dog Teddy. I now have eight hundred pins of corgi’s because mutt Teddy looked like a furry corgi.Then I see a dog who looks like our beloved mutt, Harry and now I have an entire scrapbook of Flat-coated retrievers.

My constant weeping over dead pets isn’t doing a thing for my sanity, so I pin a piece of art. What a huge mistake. I am now an art expert and my pins are worthy of the MOMA. You would not believe how many artists have lived since the beginning of time.

To distract myself I pin a recipe. I should’ve jumped in quicksand. Julia Child has nothing on me for a week, but then the rot sets in. Instead of fantastic healthy vegan dinners, I’m pinning recipes that have two ingredients….cake mix and Sprite….peanut butter cups and Oreo cookies mixed in with Cool Whip and marshmallow fluff. I’ve even pinned a thing that said to stick a can of Eagle Brand Milk in water, in a Crock Pot, for ten hours and open it up to find a glob of carmel. Really??!!

Since I don’t want to be a diabetic, I start pinning household hints. The only thing you ever need for absolutely anything in the world is Dawn dish liquid, vinegar and baking soda. Clothespins are very handy too.

I make the mistake of pinning a nice picture of someone’s kitchen. Now I hate my kitchen.

I hate all the paint colours I’ve ever chosen, I hate my furnitiure, my house, my garden, my car and my life. Nothing I own will ever live up to some of the mud rooms and laundry roooms I’ve pinned.

I’m now at the point of sticking pins in my eyes so I can’t see the computer and pins in my fingers so I can’t click the mouse. Innocent people should be warned that Pinterest is really Pinprick. A petty irritation or annoyance.

….but did you know you can use an elastic band to unscrew a stripped screw..and use a pants hanger to look at your cookbooks…and use a bungee cord as a makeshift curtain rod….

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3 responses to “Pinteresting…..

  1. samh61 says:

    🙂 well said; and so very true.

  2. I understand your pain…I’ve been a member of Pinterest for quite some time now, and find that I can lose hours and hours browsing the great pins there and also looking for equally-great pins of my own to add to the mix.

    Soon I imagine there will be a PA (Pinterests Anonymous) for us to join–but I don’t know when I’d find the time to attend meetings–I’d have to ask them to ‘pin’ the information so that I can read it!

  3. lesley crewe says:

    […] 2 COMMENTS » FEB13 […]

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