A pain in the ass….head….shoulders….knees and toes, knees and toes….

I fell out of the house yesterday.

John took the step away while doing renovations. He told me about the missing step several times. I remembered for two whole days and didn’t have a problem. Then I forgot.

I fly out the door and into the air, looking exactly like those running jumpers at the Olympics. I have quite a conversation with myself before I hit the dirt driveway.

...I shouldn’t stick my hands out because they can break off…I should land on my hip or my shoulder…I’m taking these bastard flip flops and throwing them in the garbage…how long it will it be before John notices me dead on the lawn?  

I land with quite a thud because I’m a hefty gal, but mercifully, despite my moaning, I’m relatively unscathed. A few bruises, a scrapped knee….no biggy.

And then I wake up this morning. The only possible scenario for my state, is that someone beat me with a bag of hammers while I was asleep. How can one fall make EVERYTHING hurt? I used to fall off my bike when I was a kid. I used to fall off bar stools as a university student. I used to fall in front of any kind of vehicle to save my children and bounce back no problem.

The painful truth is, I’m not young anymore.

What a kick in the teeth!

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