lesley crewe

author

Twitter is for the birds

on September 23, 2011

I can’t understand Twitter. I don’t know how to read it. There’s nothing

but & signs and #signs and abc.ca/q/blog/2011/09/23/ or http:

//pw/;u/6DgS6….”in your face…”, “what does Lady GaGa leave in

her purse”. “Stay tuned,” “Tune in”, “Coming soon!” //!@$##$#^%

$^&*^^$@##@%%&% “That goes for y’or mama too!”

Geez Louise. I can’t for the life of me figure out why people like this

past time. I can write a book but I can’t do 140 characters and make

it sound interesting or riveting. My life is a bore. I go to no premiers,

no red carpet events, or the opera. I barely go out to dinner. They

tell me I’ll need this Twitter business when the next book comes

out, so I can let people know the latest on where I’ll be. Trouble is

everyone I know doesn’t go on Twitter, so they won’t know a darn

thing. In the meantime, you’ll find me squinting at the mall trying

to look like I understand nyti.ms/qGMvt2/ow./ly/6D3jC.

Over and out. 

Or as they say in Twitterish !@#$ ^&* ()_+ god damn mutter mutter mutter…

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5 responses to “Twitter is for the birds

  1. Last Rose says:

    It’s a great test of our ability to condense our thoughts into 140 characters. Think of haiku or the latest catchy ad slogan you’ve heard. And your publisher is right. Twitter is a super marketing tool. The problem arises when you have to fit the message, plus whatever link you want everyone to check out. For example, it’s easy to see that an URL like http://www.ridethecarousel.com/dragonsbreath/shortstories/thecathadkittensontheporch/versiontwenty-three/taketwo.com would quickly eat up your 140 characters. Thus, several webstarts offer to shorten your URL. http://www.tinyurl.com for example. These shortened links end up looking pretty weird. Then, there’s the codes such as hashtags for searching… but that’s for another time. Enjoyed the article. Thanks!

  2. Marilyn says:

    Thank God! I thought I was the only one who couldn’t understand it. I created and deleted my Twitter account on the same day. I think the Twitter world is far better off without me; or, I’m far better off without the Twitter world :o)

  3. Lisa says:

    I was scared/intimidated of twitter when I first started. Now I use it daily. Mostly pointless updates and raving about your books (honest I do that quite often) but really I use it to fangirl with friends over tv shows and the like.

  4. lol you make me laugh because it’s true.
    Although, marketing wise I understand it. Everyone you know should (lol) be buying your book already so you want to reach people who don’t already know and have bought your book.
    Twitter is amazing in that you make wonderful connections out of the blue just by putting a # beside the topic.
    Embrace it but I know you’ll never be addicted. 140 characters just doesn’t do anyone justice – unless of course they are Ashton Kutcher or the president.

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