lesley crewe

author

Duds

on October 3, 2010

I have wonderful friends. The kind of friends who tell you what you need to hear.

“You’re wearing THAT???”

This was their question when they found out I was going to be wearing my usual duds for a television interview, radio and internet interviews, speaking at luncheons, launches, giving readings, blah blah blah.

“What’s wrong with this?” I pointed to my very old white shirt.

“You need to look like a writer!” The two of them scurried around the Olsen store at the Bay and threw me in the dressing room and started to hand me things.

“I can’t wear expensive stuff!” I yelled but they didn’t listen. After a half an hour of trying on clothes, I bought a couple of things. Felt good about it too….until…..

I spilled something on my left boob while dining at the CBC building in downtown Toronto before my interview. I freaked, before remembering it was a radio interview. But that still meant I had this blotty boob for the rest of the day.

When I got back to my sister-in-law’s, I tore the jacket off my body and started to read the very detailed instructions on this horrifically priced item. Since I usually buy crap, I have no problem throwing things in the washer and dryer. Who cares what happens to it?

Now I have to “baby” this investment. The label is written in six different languages. When I finally find the English part, the first thing I read is “No wet cleaning”.

What???

But it does say gentle wash 30C. Isn’t that wet cleaning? More info….Do not bleach, do not tumble-dry, cool iron, chemical cleaning recommended. I look at another label. It’s made of 100% Tencel.

What??

I once had a Toyota Tercel but I don’t think that’s it. This is way too complicated. I’m sick with worry about anything dripping on this jacket. It’s too much pressure. That’s the one thing that Stacey and Clinton don’t address. We all know we need to look better and wear better clothes, but who can handle the nervous breakdown if a food fight breaks out in a cafeteria??

All I’d be thinking of is the money I wasted on this item if I can never wear it again thanks to a blot of mayonnaise. Isn’t it easier to throw out something that cost $30 then have a stroke over this $300 jacket?

Some people were never meant to wear couture. (Keeping in mind couture would be a $30,000 jacket…)

I am not a clothes horse….a clothes ass maybe.

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2 responses to “Duds

  1. Sarah says:

    Does No Wet Cleaning mean dry-clean?

  2. lesleycrewe says:

    I suppose so, but then why did it say gentle wash?? Maybe some fashionista somewhere will fill us in.

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