lesley crewe

author

It’s a sign…

on July 7, 2010

Watch out for Chip and Dale!

We had to do something.

It seems Mr and Mrs. Chipmunk, who live on Ferguson Lane in Homeville, Cape Breton are getting a divorce. I can’t think why else there would be so much activity back and forth across the laneway. They’ve been ferrying the children between their seperate residences every other day, instead of alternate weekends. The poor kids must be so confused.

Early in the morning, Mom runs across the road to make sure the kids are ready for school and they all troop back with her. Not to be outdone, Dad grabs them back after school and makes them do chores. Mom then herds them back and dishes out sunflower seeds for supper, but the kids run back to dad’s for the evening, because he’s not as strict about bedtime.

Then someone leaves their favourite blanket at the wrong house and darts back at twilight to fetch it, and that’s when tragedy can strike. We’ve almost killed Chip and Dale Junior at least three times with our car. It doesn’t seem to matter how slow we’re going.

Or maybe dad’s letting them watch too much television. Maybe they’re daring each other to make some jackass move by trying to beat the monster car coming down the laneway. God….I hope they’re not into drugs. Coming from a broken home can be so psychologically damaging.  

Maybe I should try an intervention of some kind. “Like I know it’s difficult when a family falls apart, but the least you could do is have your homes on the same side of the laneway. That would eliminate all this rushing to and fro and might even significantly  increase your lifespan.”

But chipmunks don’t usually listen to good advice. They’re too busy stuffing their faces. They must be a real menace at all-you-can-eat buffets.

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One response to “It’s a sign…

  1. The chipmunk tale makes a wonderful little vignette. Good stuff.

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