lesley crewe

author

Confession…

on June 6, 2010

I can’t believe I did it, but I did.

I was alone in a Toronto hotel room last Saturday, with a few hours to kill between functions and turned on the television. When you’re in another city and time zone, you have no idea what’s on, and hotel tv guides are next to useless, so you end up flipping through channels…..all of them with commercials blaring away the second you click up or down.

This is how I happened to stop on a shopping channel. I’ve heard of these things but have never paused on one long enough to see what’s on offer. I assume it’s all crap and move on.

But being alone in a hotel room with no other distractions is sort of lonely, so I started to watch the spiel. I can’t even remember the name of the products but Cindy Crawford was swearing upside down and sideways that her famous French dermatologist (it takes years on a waiting list to see him apparently) discovered this French melon that takes away wrinkles, age spots, crow’s feet….everything but the kitchen sink….and she convinced him to let her sell his secret formula in an array of skin care products.

Well. It takes years to see this man?? I’d be a fool to not give it a try if it’s that good! Especially if its on offer for $39 for the first 200 customers or whatever. I race to the pad and pencil by the hotel phone to scribble down the toll-free number and then hurry over to my wallet to find a credit card and proceed to order this stuff from the Delta in Toronto.

By the time I get off the phone, the price has risen to $70…I’m not sure why….the guy tried to explain it to me but I wasn’t getting it. All I know is that I can cancel, but as of now they are sending me this box of stuff and then another three month supply for $40 and more for another $40 or if I die in the meantime, my kids can cancel it as long as my death isn’t suspicious, but if I do want more special offers, I can sign up for ten months at a reduced rate, as long as I send in a photo showing the product doesn’t work, or maybe it was to show that it does work….I was so confused by this point I was willing to shell out $100 just for him to shut up and let me think.

So now I have a box of French melon juice coming to my house and I think I owe $500 and I’ll be paying it for the rest of my life, because my memory is shot and I won’t remember to cancel this stuff and now I’ll have French melon juice that I’ll have to pawn off to my friends and relatives and it occurred to me only after I shut the television off that I’ll never look like Cindy Crawford, so what the hell am I doing trying to compete with this fabulous looking woman??

Never turn on the television in a hotel room.

p.s. If you see Cindy Crawford at Sobey’s in Glace Bay sometime in the future, I take back everything I just said.

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2 responses to “Confession…

  1. karen says:

    You never cease to make me laugh out loud, Lesley:) Thanks for that:)
    It’s a bit of a sad day for me today, as it’s been 13 years today since my Mom passed away and your Blog is just what I needed:)
    Thanks 🙂
    Karen

  2. lesleycrewe says:

    Unfortunately, I know just how you feel. I’m still counting how many full moons it’s been since Mom died.

    I’m glad I could help.

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